I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
Randomize
