My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
HE'S FUCKING 19 YEARS OLD, HE CAN'T EVEN GET INTO A BAR WITH ME, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'LL LET HIM IN MY PANTS?!
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
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