I'm either going to be a Playboy Playmate or take over the world. Either way the world wins.
It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
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