They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
You got the eggs out of the fridge and yelled "my chickens are beasts at making eggs" and then pegged them at the ceiling and at a couple who were making out
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
Just so you know sleeping with you is like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
That's the most romantic thing I've ever heard
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
Randomize
