we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
I learned 3 things lastnight....1. Turkeys are related to the t-rex. 2. Whales have leg bones cause they used to walk. 3. I will sing drunk in the waffle house, but not during karaoke in the bar
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
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