just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
I feel like god wrote up a contract of my life, and i just signed off on that shit without reading the fine print.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
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