why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
None of these texts make sense. except for "step 2.5 equals velociraptor." that i get.
Randomize