Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
I have a running excel spreadsheet detailing the number of shots in a night and subsequent ability to masturbate
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
Apparently, I showed up wrapped in caution tape and immediately jumped on the stripper pole and started making very sexual gestures at the birthday girl. We lasted ten minutes.
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
Randomize
