The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
He stopped his car in the middle of ongoing traffic to ask me to marry him. Then he got pulled over. Yeah I'd say the slutty Dallas Cowboys costume was a success.
Your hotness may or may not have landed him in jail.
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
i've hit rock bottom. Eating pringles and playing taylor swift on guitar in my underwear at 11am on a wedensday morning. Sober.
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
is it fun? or sober?
Randomize
