everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
my mom found me this morning spread out like jesus sleeping on the living room floor. i had a piece of bread over my eyes to block the light out
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
she woke me up with a blowjob, mickey mouse pancakes, a mugshot of my ex in county jail, and tequilla. Do you know if she fucked someone behind my back or did i win the vagina lottery?
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
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