Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
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He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
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I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
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