They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
Randomize
