So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
North Korea, Best Korea!
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
My dating life has become some fucked up hydra of dicks; you cut one off and two pop up in its place.
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
Randomize
