I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
Randomize
