i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
barbara walters just said penis...
you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
Just took an adderall with a shot of tequila while doing my makeup in the parking lot at work before I go in. I'm also late. They're so lucky to have me.
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
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