it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
I smell like Dick and happiness
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
Randomize
