Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
He broke up with his gf yesterday so he could give me our annual Christmas sex at midnight.
Marry him. Now.
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
Randomize
