Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
Spilled red wine all over my bed. This has to be the fiftieth time ive refused to fall asleep without a drink in my hand
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
Randomize
