Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
Randomize
