You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
This is my gift to your gina
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
Randomize
