If I don't come home tonight, I've died in a pile of gay.
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
Next Halloween, remind me to find a different wingman. Walking out in your pirate costume talking like Captain Ahab while i was banging her and telling me I had to harpoon the white whale really pissed her off.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
She's better-looking with the mask on.
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