Thanks for the three minutes of sex tonight.
so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
I have just received a gold-medal-deserving sext. He wrote me a fucking novel. Not only am I incredibly turned on but I am beyond impressed. He is the sext god. I must bow to him.
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
He sent me a pic of his coffee mug to be like "I'm having coffee too.” \nImagine that. Morning coffee. In your boring ass mug. Dick pic or gtfo.
Randomize
