what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
Bonded with the ladies at the perfume outlet by saying "help me smell like i'm not hungover before my shift starts". This is not where I wanted my life to be
I just farted so loud someone came to check on me. Thought something fell in my office.
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
Randomize
