and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
I'm in this weird masturbatory haze making onion rings. If you want to come over we can eat these suckers and play TF2.
Why don't we hang out more often?
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
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