i barfeds in our rink
Apparently last night I sat at the bar with an upside down sharpie lightning bolt on my forehead, yelling "It's Harry Potter's birthday! Let me be on the qudditch team!" And I kept calling the bartender Dobby. There are videos.
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
Randomize
