My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
I'm slightly possesive over the gucamole when i'm stoned.
Is that why you left peanut shells in my bed?
my revenge plans when i'm high are never as good as i think they are
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
Randomize
