I just chugged a whole pitcher of beer in 1 min. 9 sec. A whole goddamn pitcher.
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
When you're as high as I am right now brushing your teeth is both magical and fucking terrifying
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Randomize
