'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
Vodka, MiraLAX and Gatorade are perfect for the night before a colonoscopy
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
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