The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
Randomize