I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
so i have my big date this weekend, and i was practicing giving head with a bottle in the shower. i stopped and looked at the botton of the bottle. it was PURE MOLD! if i die, dont tell the doctors how this happened....
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
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