Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
he kept farting in my kitchen and blaming it on the dog. then we went to wendy's and he spent twenty minutes in the bathroom. im pretty sure he shit his pants.
you should have known when you found out he drove a mini cooper not to hang out with him.
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
I have 39 hot sauces from Chipotle
It's like earning obesity badges
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
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