You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
I wasn't hungover this morning. My head just hurt because someone tried to suction cup a dildo to my forehead.
Your subconscious sucks. Mine is awesome. I have a recurring dream where I manage a chocolate factory run by big titted hookers.
A) you're a liar. B) that would be awesome.
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
I got a text saying, "It's so great to throw tomatoes at seagulls."
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
Randomize
