How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
Randomize
