pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
Swear to god, if I have to wingman for you on my honeymoon I'm gonna be pissed
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
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