be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant
I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
Randomize
