they need to just BURY HIM!
I feel like sober is me a distant relative that I only see on christmas..
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
I can't trust your balls anymore.
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
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