if i died would you start the facebook group?
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
Even the bartender felt bad for me
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
Randomize
