she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
Randomize
