update: the house isnt on fire anymore, but he is still pissing on all your stuff.
the house was on fire??
shit I thought I told you.
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
Randomize
