Found moms dildo in drawer while looking for socks, and its wet
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
This year I'm going to try NOT getting arrested. I think the 30th birthday is the cutoff for calling Mom to bail me out.
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
Finished my senior thesis. How am I celebrating you ask? By drinking gas station white zif out of an empty candle holder by myself. I fucking deserve to graduate.
I have just disproved the common belief that it is impossible to have mediocre sex in a fire truck.
The fire in my vagina flames on. Fucking terrible firefighter
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
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