East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
Went to bed at 4 in a strangers bed. woke up wearing scrubs, realized i was gonna be late for work so i just wore the same clothes as the day before... i don't have a toothbrush and im pretty sure there is leftover semen in my mouth. at some point i think i was at the beach cuz theres is sand in my underwear. i love newport already.
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
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