This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
You pulled down your pants, pissed in the recliner, and wiped yourself with my utility bill. I thought it was in the worlds best interest to put you to bed.
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
Floor bacon is actually really good
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
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