I'm so fucking centered right now
please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
I love you like a cupcake loves an overweight child, very similar to the mannerisms of a whole cake but personal, and minus the commitment issues, plus just the right amount of icing; not to mention the convenience of mobility, and only a smidgen of the guilt😘
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
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