Last night was a blur. All I remember is jizzing in the squeegee bucket at a gas station.
The look on the soccer mom's face was PRICELESS.
How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
She said "You blew my mind last night." and I said "nah, I just blew my load." and her mom heard.
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
Randomize
