yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
I look forward to getting really drunk tonight and startling some rando’s mother tomorrow morning while she’s up early making a turkey
It’s a holiday tradition at this point
Randomize
