It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
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