I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
We need to rekindle our bromance
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
Maybe tomorrow I'll be drunk again and can provide you with texts at a more reasonable hour. Here's hoping. GOodnight. Tebow loves you
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
Randomize
