so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
Randomize
