I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
This beer is not sobering me up at all
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
A very confused plastic surgeon just called. Apparently I called asking how much it costs to get a vodka funnel installed straight to my brain...
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
Randomize
