You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
Enjoy the penises
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
Randomize
