So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
God gave him joint rollers for hands
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
Randomize
