So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
Found your dick twin last night
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
Randomize
