i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
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