he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
Just spit on a sock to clean a spot on my glass table. Oddest combination of so lazy and motivated ever.
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
Randomize
