Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
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