I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
His nipple licking is glorious
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