Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
Randomize
