On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
i wish that every time i slipped on a sheet of ice i had the ability to recover with a michael jackson move
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
Masturbated before I came into work and now the finger scanner won't clock me in. Fuck Valentines Day.
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
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