lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
Randomize
