In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
Randomize