I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
He said he wanted to make me his Twinkie, "filled with his delicious cream." ABSOLUTELY 100% NO YOU MAY NOT REPEAT ****NOT**** GIVE HIM MY NUMBER EVER EVER EVER. Please confirm receipt and full comprehension of this message.
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
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