We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
jump out the window naked night went bad
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