I will die if light touches me.
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
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