Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
In case this wasn't clear when i said being his wingman was "hopeless", his date walked out on him when he poured a beer on his head trying to shotgun it
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
I'm like, not good at living.
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
Randomize
