I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
you have to give me like a days notice for these kinds of things, you cant just call at 9 am and expect me to be sober
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
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