Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
I woke up to a topless girl handing me a blunt. Candidate for greatest wake-up ever?
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
Randomize
